April Doom's Day
by Sakina the Fallen Angel
Summary: Of all the days to be granted a body, why oh why does it have to be April Fool’s Day? R and R please!
1. YAMI I Have A Body?

Well, my favourite day of the year is coming up, so what better way to celebrate than to write an evil fic?

DISCLAIMER: Ra-dammit, just read the disclaimers of one of my other fics…Ways To Annoy Yami Yugi will suffice…no advertising here…dum didum…halo over my head

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Yami: I Have A Body?

"Argh! Yugi, wake up!" Yami yelled, sitting bolt upright.

"Hmmmpfh," Yugi murmured, head buried under his sheets.

"I just had a nightmare where I had nobody left in the world!" Yami exclaimed. He stopped, realizing something was amiss. He looked down, expecting to be confined to the Shades of Yugi's mind. However, he seemed to be in the world, with a real, solid body. "No body, geddit?"

"Whatever- just let me use the Dark Magician…mumble…mumble…" Yugi snored as he turned over, already forgetting Yami's first pathetic attempt at a joke.

Yami scratched his head puzzled and glanced at Yugi's alarm. The digital display read 05:34. Well, if he had a body now, then he was damn well going to make the best use of it!

Yami threw the sheets back jovially, and flung the curtains open. A ray of morning sunshine blasted through the window, causing Yugi to emit a high-pitched scream.

"Argh! The light! It burns! Don't let them take the rest of my Life Points!" He buried his face deeper in the sheets, and soon resumed his snoring.

Yami shrugged. Mortals were so strange these days. Now, what was supposed to happen next? Ah yes, the showering ritual. To endorse oneself in water…

Yami grabbed a towel, and headed for the bathroom. He'd never paid much attention to Yugi when he went into this room, after Yugi had screeched about invasion of privacy, so this place was new territory for him.

He assumed that he was supposed to strip naked and stand in the bath tub, whilst being enveloped in a refreshing hot spray. Climbing in, he fiddled with the taps, and soon got the contraption to work.

"Ow, it's hot, hot!" Yami screeched, dropping the showerhead to shield his privates. "Argh! It's alive, alive!" He lamented, as the showerhead began to swerve like a snake and spurted out water. Eyes closed, he managed to get himself tangled with the shower and ended up ripping the shower curtain, and crashed to the floor. It was then he realized how sticky he was, and how much he smelt of Thornton's Tangy Lemon Drops.

"Yugi! Help! Instead of emitting water, the shower has secreted a vile sticky lemony substance! I fear that it does not like me!"

"Oh, that," Yugi murmured, finally waking up. "That was meant to be for me. Tristan warned me that Joey was going to try some bathroom prank on me, the perverted guy! Pfff, unscrew the cap and put a sweet in, one of the oldest in the book!"

Yugi realized something was amiss. "Yami, did you just say you took a shower?" Yugi's eyes widened. "Without me?"-No, this is not as dirty as it sounds, what he means is…well, you know. "Gosh, you really do have your own body!"

Yugi took in the pathetic dripping form wrapped in a towel and laughed evilly.

Yami sighed. This was going to be a long day.

Later...

Yugi was lying on his bed, reading an edition of Champion Duellist when Yami re-entered the bedroom, wrapped in another towel, this time not smelling of Thornton's Tangy Lemon Drops.

"Gosh, I have to decide what to wear," Yami murmured, opening Yugi's wardrobe, which consisted of duelling jackets, black shirts and blue trousers.

"Here, Yami, did you know in ancient times a Pharaoh once remarked that 'duelling could be compared to women- it is just as mysterious and deadly, but the rewards are handsome.' The article says the Pharaoh received a slap from his head priest for saying that," Yugi said innocently, holding the page up and jangling it up and down.

"Oh my," Yami murmured preoccupied, "I do believe that was me. I don't remember there being a scribe in the room at the time but-"

"So how did it feel when Kaiba slapped you?" Yugi asked sweetly.

"What!" Yami's head shot out from the wardrobe, just realizing what he'd said. "Gimme that magazine!" Yami dived for the magazine, but too late, did he realize that his towel had slipped, and he ended up crashing into Yugi, the bed, and a ceremonial vase.

"Ow, my head," he grumbled, as the vase slowly rocked from side to side, then ever so slowly fell onto his head, cracking as it hit the hair gel.

Yugi's eyes widened. "Where's your shame, oh Yami?"

Yami looked down. "Eeeep!" He eeped, and darted behind the wardrobe door. "Son of Ra!"

After the red glow faded from Yami's cheeks he selected a set of clothes- a black shirt, a duelling jacket that was slightly longer than the others and a pair of blue trousers. Yugi watched him amusedly as he put on his wristbands and choker, and finally decided to say something after Yami had placed his Millennium Puzzle around his neck.

"By the way Yami, at school, we have a uniform to wear," he piped in, and pointed to a neat pile of clothes that lay folded, on a chair.

Yami sweatdropped.

* * *

TBC... 

OK, basically I will be writing chapters about Marik and Bakura as well, so stay tuned! And all reviews appreciated!


	2. YAMI Episode In The Kitchen

Aw'right! I got two reviews!  
_Sakina: Where are you everyone else! Argh!_  
Shut up, or you'll jinx this fic!

Thanks to **Sami Ryou's Hikari** and **DarkEgyptianPriestess** for their support!

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Yami: Episode In The Kitchen

Finally clad in the right attire, Yami made his way down the stairs to the second death trap, the kitchen. The kitchen was the second most feared room, as everything in there seemed to be out to get him, especially the toaster. He eyed the toaster meaningfully, and skirted around it to the fridge. A stray slice of yesterday's toast popped out and hit him on the head. Yami whirled around tensing. If he squinted, he could almost see the machine laughing at him. _Muhahahaha!_

He opened the fridge, and peered inside. Now what do humans eat for breakfast in this age? After being hit by another slice of toast, he decided for a full on beans on pizza, with a dollop of marmalade and a sausage in an egg. Of all his defects, the one thing that hadn't failed him throughout the ages was his ability to cook…and duel, of course. Donning a pink apron, he hummed as he fried the pizza, boiled the beans and gave a micro wave to the egg. There, he thought, and put everything on a tray. He was about to go into the dining room, when he noticed a bucket balanced carefully on the door. _Ha!_ He thought, _I may be five thousand years old but I'm not stupid! The number of times we pulled this prank on each other! Yugi must be getting slack. There is no way I'm falling for this one._

So it was in this knowledge that he continued confidently. It was a shame that he missed the roller skate on the floor. "Yearghhhhh!" He yelled as he crashed headlong into the door. The tray flew up, and the water in the bucket tipped onto him.

"Haha!" Yugi guffawed from behind the door, rolling around with laughter. "I can't sniff believe you fell sniff for that one," he cried, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Yugi! Are you alright?" A voice called from the landing.

His laughter ceased immediately. "Uh oh, it's Grandpa," he whispered. "Quick, hide!"

But it was too late. Grandpa came pounding down the stairs, huffing, a pitchfork brandished in one arm.

"Yugi, I heard a noise and…" his gaze took in Yami, lying on the floor, covered in an assortment of different foods, bucket still on his head.

"Grandpa!" Yugi's eyes widened. "Where did you get that pitchfork from?"

"Who's this stranger?" Grandpa yelled, ignoring the question. "Get out, out, now!" He prodded the recumbent figure cautiously with one of the prongs.

"It's alright," Yugi gabbled, grabbing Grandpa's arm. "This is my err…exchange partner, Yami. He'll be here for…" He hissed at Yami. "How long will you be here for?"

"I don't know," Yami moaned. "I wanna go home!"

"Awww," Grandpa cooed, lifting the bucket off of Yami's head. "Look, son…Yami, I know how hard it is when you have to leave home, but don't worry, any friend of Yugi's is a friend of mine. And we'll do our best to make you feel welcome."

"Thanks," Yami muttered, glaring at Yugi. "Now if you don't mind, Mr. Motou, I must go and have another shower and get changed." He stood up. The effect was rather ruined as a couple of beans dripped from his hair, falling onto his foot.

"I'm sorry Yami!" Yugi pounded on his bedroom door, but it remained shut. "Please, I've never had anyone that I can call a brother before…" The door opened a fraction. "…So I just wanted to see how much fun it was to make you look stupid!" The door slammed shut again. _Ooops, wrong tactics,_ Yugi thought. "Come on, we can't fall out on your first day in a real body in five thousand years!"

Yugi stopped, and smiled slyly. "Yami, who is going to be there to look after you on your first day? What is going to happen if you do something wrong? And today is April Fool's Day, so you might need someone who is an expert at the art of the prankster- i.e. me, to guide you through the day and avoid getting pranked. Where will you be then, when the world turns against you?"

This time Yami opened the door. He'd washed and changed. "I guess you were just having your own fun," he sighed. He let Yugi embrace him in a hug, before deciding people might get wrong ideas and pushed Yugi gently away.

"Thanks for forgiving me. Here, do you want to use my phone? I have two others, so you can give me a call if you get in any bother."

Yami took the object, and stared at it doubtfully, before sliding it into a pocket. An idea struck him. Glancing at Yugi, he said, "To show no hard feelings, could you do me a favour?"

"Hmmm?" Yugi murmured.

"I can't quite seem to get rid of this mark, can you go and fetch me some elbow grease?"

Yugi was halfway down the corridor before he heard Yami's laughter. "Yami!"

* * *

Yep, that's chappy two for now. Remember that Yami has a mobile phone- it will paly a very significant part in the fic later...muhahaha! Bakura is up next, heh heh heh...Oh yeah, shameless advertising here...if you like this, then check out my other humour fic- Ways To Annoy Yami Yugi- soon to be updated whenever I can be bothered... 


	3. BAKURA Bakura's One Kitchen Stand

Had trouble uploading this, but it should be fine!

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Bakura's One-Kitchen Stand

Ryou turned over in bed. His hand met with something warm, something that felt soft…something that felt like…

"Holy Ra!" Ryou shot up. "I didn't know girls had those!"  
"Get your hands off my crown jewels you thieving son of a-" A voice growled.

Ryou stared, and rubbed his eyes a few times, to make sure he wasn't dreaming. No, he hadn't had ten shots of vodka last night and he hadn't taken anyone home, but there was…  
"Bakura! Get back into my head! Now!"

Bakura stretched and grinned mischievously. "Whatever you did last night Hikari has no concern with me, thank you very much. Now if you don't mind, I would like to test out my new body." And with that, Bakura shook his tousled white hair and jumped out of bed, doing it as if it was natural.  
_Thump!  
_"Ouch. Ryou, please may you help me up, my legs do not seem to be working. And my head is spinning, plus I can see little pink elephants, which is surely not natural, and…" he giggled. "Round and round and…WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING?"

Ryou sweatdropped.

:-:-:

Bakura sat in the kitchen, flexing his new muscles back and forth. His eyes were fixated on his bulging bicep and he had a wolfish grin plastered to his face.  
"Greetings, Hikari," Bakura said, without turning around. "I'd put down the saucepan if I were you, or someone might get hurt."

_Damn! _Ryou scowled, pan frozen above Bakura's head, poised in mid tiptoe. Bakura spun around slowly.

"Be gone, evil fiend! Thou who hast taken the form of my Yami and has possessed his soul!" Ryou commanded, pointing at him.

A few minutes passed.

A bird tweeted.

"Well then Ryou, what may I ask, will you be cooking for breakfast?" Bakura leaned back in his chair, resuming his inspection of his new muscles.  
"Erm…" Ryou began, but suddenly Bakura's eyes lit up. This was probably more dangerous than his devilish grin.  
"I know, let me do the cooking!"  
"I'm not sure Bakura, I mean, if it really is you…"  
"Of course it is I, the legend, the one, the-"  
"Yeah, but you haven't been near a frying pan for the last five Millennia," Ryou said.  
"Trust me, Hikari, my cookery skills are to die for…" Bakura cackled before running insanely out of the back door.

Oh great! Ryou thought glumly. His eye strayed to the calendar on the table. _April 1st. _Even better. Not only was he going to have to watch out for his Yami, he would also have to watch out for the pranks of his fellow classmates! Speaking of pranks…

_Brrrrriiiiiinnnnnggggggggggg!_

Ryou picked up the phone.

"Greetings, honourable potential consumer, my name is Kronos Napalotipolizterwansoluhbah-"  
"Yes?" Ryou demanded impatiently. He had a Yami to find.  
"I was wondering if you would like a tub of my famous elbow grease for those understandable moments of hard work or a pair of pervi-oculars for…ahh bird watching or one of my new organizers that has seventy five different functions-"  
"Sorry, not interested."  
"It allows you to say hello in six hundred different languages!"  
Ryou slammed the phone down. "What just happened there?"

In a shady room two figures sniggered and picked another name on the list.  
"Ah…Mr. Seto Kaiba."  
"Which one should we choose for him?"  
"For the CEO, hmmm…I think the 'refrigerator one' will suffice."  
A pair of dice clacked, and a beam of light glinted off a wave of rock hard hair as the two figures erupted into fits of laughter.

"Ba-ku-ra! Oh Ba-ku-ra!" Ryou cupped his hands and called into the woods. It had been raining the night before and the air was still slightly frosty. Wet grass brushed his shoes and dew sparkled in the morning sun.

Ack! Why couldn't he have a normal Yami like everyone else? Well, if you could call a power-crazed lunatic that wasn't even real or a self-righteous Pharaoh normal…had he just thought these thoughts? It couldn't be him. Ryou was too good to have these thoughts. Ha! Now you're thinking about when you were thinking about having those thoughts! His brain crowed. _Shut up!_

_Thwap!_

Suddenly Ryou found himself upside down. A rope dangled from a branch had mysteriously become attached to his foot, and as he hung swaying in the breeze, Ryou realized he'd stepped into a hunter's trap.

_Curses! _Ryou twisted, and with amazing death defying movements, he managed to gyrate himself so he could untie himself free. Only problem was, now the ground was coming up to meet him…

"Oww!" Ryou yelled. Whoever did this was going to pay. When he found his Yami…

Ryou stomped through the forest, leaving a trail of madness in his wake. He was really mad now, and it was barely seven thirty. Someone hadn't woken up with their Kellogs Cornflakes yet.

"Bakura!" His voice rang through the clearing, to the stream where Bakura was frozen over the water, poised in concentration. One fluid movement, one jab and he had a struggling fish in his hands.  
"Yes!" His grating voice crowed with triumph. He tossed the fish into a basket where there was also a bound rabbit, a struggling wild-eyed deer, two birds, a lemming and a…grisly bear…

"Erm…Bakura?" Ryou tapped him on the shoulder.  
"What?" Bakura snarled, spinning around. Ryou's anger instantly drained away.  
"Erm…where did that bear and lemming come from? We don't get those here…"  
"Shoot." Bakura untied the bear and lemming and murmured- "Scat!"  
The two creatures instantly scooted off. "Anything else?"  
Ryou eyed the deer and rabbit and birds nervously and gulped. "N-n-no, bu-"  
"Then that's settled. My, what a treat I have for you!" Bakura slung the basket over his shoulder and started hiking back. "Just need to check on my final trap-"  
"YOUR TRAP!" A few leaves fell out of Ryou's dishevelled hair. "Wait until I get my hands on you, you…"

Bakura sped through the forest, fast as a blur.

"Bakura, I knew you'd come back here…you…" Ryou panted, staggering through the back door. "When I get a hold of you, I-what's that smell?" He sniffed, breathing deeply. "That smells so nice, what is it?"  
"My dear Hikari, didn't I tell you I make the finest of cuisines?" Bakura said smoothly, ushering Ryou to a seat.  
"Wow, you've done something with the table as well- it looks so new, and restaurant-like…wait a minute…"  
"Here, for starters, fresh stuffed erm…something, and toad-in-a-hole!" Bakura flourished the platters, instantly diverting Ryou from the imminent question of where he'd found the table.  
"Looks good! Mmmm," Ryou said, as he munched on the starter. "Now, let's have look at the main course-eeep!"

_Ribbet! Ribbet!_

"Don't you like the toad?" Bakura asked.  
"You're not supposed to use a live toad!" Ryou screamed.  
"Ooops," Bakura said sheepishly. "Then you won't like what's for pudding then."  
"What?" Ryou asked suspiciously.  
"It's- 'spotted dick'," Bakura whispered.  
"Grrr…"

Bakura's eyes flicked to the calendar. "Erm…as you humans put it, happy April Fool's Day!"  
_Ooooooh_, Ryou fumed. Two can play at this game…

* * *

What tricks will Ryou pull out? Will they faze Bakura? To be continued...R n' R please! 


End file.
